*bleep

Just when I thought I had it figured out, just when I thought I was damn sure of what path I'd take, you showed me how vulnerable you really are.

I had a clear plan - leave you, be happy with him, move forward. I did not anticipate that in between steps one and two, you'd realize my worth. What happened to the wall you built around you, guarding you from any form of emotional breakdown? I thought that in all these years I've attempted to break that wall, it would never fall down and crumble.

Yet now, why all of a sudden, it did.

Now that I am finally beginning to realize that I deserve a better life with a better man. A better future with a better hope of a romantic relationship that would never die down.

Why, after all this time, did you suddenly show me that your tear glands actually work? That these glands aren't merely there. Why press your palm against your chest to indicate how painful all this is for you?

Why tell me that you know now that there's no one better for you, that there's nobody in this world who you could love the way you do me, that there's no other woman you could imagine growing old with?

If only you told me all these three months ago then all of these couldn't have happened. Then again, I could still be very frustrated trying to survive the "one-way" relationship (or so I thought) that we had.

.

Last night, when I walked away from you, I remembered a similar scenario that happened months ago. Six months to be exact. You were close to tearing up, I was having a hard time breathing from crying too much, we were hugging each other like it would be the last time we would have to do that. Because we felt that at that moment, we've reached the end of us. At that moment, we wanted to feel each other's warmth for the last time, let the love we had for each other flow. I cannot put into words how painful it is to realize that a love so strong can weaken in time...

Six months ago, you were about to leave me for someone else. This time, I am about to leave you. For someone else.

This isn't vengeance. This is the universe conspiring with me to help me achieve what I've been hoping for.

The sad part is, now I have to choose. And no matter who I choose, I will break someone's heart to pieces.

...

If you were in my situation, what would you do? Go.