It only takes one look to forget.

In the stillness of the night, I tried remembering my frustrations from the past. Things that couldn't make me happy and contented. I had almost everything--a decent place, complete set of appliances, two bedrooms (one for us and the other for our son), a nanny, a job. All I needed to do was keep it together, stay focused on our li'l family.

Just like him, I couldn't. I was the one who gave up. And like a betrayal, my mind can't show me the details why I gave up.

I'd like to think that it was because I forgave and moved on without regrets or grudge. Most importantly, I am happier now. I can't even remember the feeling of frustration, how once upon a time, it pushed me into smacking my head against the wall every night (or day.) The closest I get to feeling pain nowadays is the throbbing of my head or my throat. Minor physical pains that can easily be remedied. For that, I am thankful.

He listens to me, asks me how my day was, and doesn't forget to put the night light on before leaving for work. He comes home, immediately puts his things down to sit beside me and share whatever meal I made for the day. He'd always praise my cooking.

He sleeps silently while I lay beside him wondering how I got so lucky.

Then I remember, I was thinking about my frustrations.. One look at him and then I forget I was doing so.